Now

my Gramps knows how to live in the moment and so does my Grammie.
Here he is picking blackberries.

Does anyone else find themselves putting off contentment?

Lately I've been noticing that my brain is always going a million miles an hour, and even if I have some down time, I have lost the art of just being in the present moment.

I catch myself unsettled about whatever I am doing currently, and always looking towards the future (near or far) to bring me a greater sense of fulfillment.

I put off my life until someday...and I'm getting a little sick of it.

Here are some examples:

As soon as I get through my first two classes, and I can can get coffee during my break and everything will be fine.

or

When I don't have to work as many hours I will be able to keep up my house better, and that will make us feel settled.

or

When I get to know these people better (could be anyone), then I will have the confidence to reach out to them.

or

When we are done with school, and have time to spend together without homework, Bryan and I will learn to communicate better.

or

Next week when I'm not as busy, I will prioritize my friends and call them

or

If I can just make it through the week and get home to my parents house for Thanksgiving, then I will really enjoy myself.

or

If I could get back to my pre-marriage weight, then I would feel good about my appearance.

or

When I can travel again to help people in third world countries, I will feel a sense of purpose.

or

When I reach my production goals at work then I will start enjoying it.

Some of these are grounded in truth...some of them are not. Regardless, the point is that I am doing a lot of missing out on what is in front of me, and what is unique to my life right now....

right now..........or now.....

......................................................and now.

Mary Oliver's poems are really powerful to me because they emphasize the sacred in the everyday moments of life.

I will post some, but not today.....Maybe someday....when I'm not so busy :)

I plan on writing more on this blog soon, and not using pictures to fill up most of the space, so hang in there with me. Right now my school life is a little writing intensive, so I spend my creative energy on that...maybe I'll just post some of my writing for school, and use it for two purposes.

Bryan Lee is 24 today

I'm so thankful that my sweet husband was born...in 1983...3 months before me.
His first home was in Palisade, Colorado (http://www.townofpalisade.org)

Here is a picture of him doing what he does best. I love to see the world through his eyes.

And some people pictures...still in Astoria

Bryan thinking deep thoughts.








mom-in-law. she is adorable, and I love her.








Bryan was teasing me about something, and I was clearly outraged :).








My father-in-law, Gary is reading something historical.

Astoria

a view of the city

Bryan's parents flew in from Colorado last weekend and we all drove to Astoria to spend a lovely night at a bed and breakfast. I really fell in love with the town, which sits where the Columbia River meets the Ocean. Here are a few highlights.



the street, looking out from the pier








haunted house

Monet Refuses The Operation

(this picture of Lisby Rogers seems to go well with this poem. thanks for the use of it Lisby)

poem by :Lisel Mueller

Doctor, you say there are no haloes
around the streetlights in Paris
and what I see is an aberration
caused by old age, an affliction.
I tell you it has taken me all my life
to arrive at the vision of gas lamps as angels,
to soften and blur and finally banish
the edges you regret I don't see,
to learn that the line I called the horizon
does not exist and sky and water,
so long apart, are the same state of being.
Fifty-four years before I could see
Rouen cathedral is built
of parallel shafts of sun,
and now you want to restore
my youthful errors: fixed
notions of top and bottom,
the illusion of three-dimensional space,
wisteria separate
from the bridge it covers.
What can I say to convince you
the Houses of Parliament dissolves
night after night to become
the fluid dream of the Thames?
I will not return to a universe
of objects that don't know each other,
as if islands were not the lost children
of one great continent. The world
is flux, and light becomes what it touches,
becomes water, lilies on water,
above and below water,
becomes lilac and mauve and yellow
and white and cerulean lamps,
small fists passing sunlight
so quickly to one another
that it would take long, streaming hair
inside my brush to catch it.
To paint the speed of light!
Our weighted shapes, these verticals,
burn to mix with air
and change our bones, skin, clothes
to gases. Doctor,
if only you could see
how heaven pulls earth into its arms
and how infinitely the heart expands
to claim this world, blue vapor without end.
(photo by Bryan Rupp)

My Friend Kara: A Sappy Love Story

I would like to devote some space on my blog, to my friends from time to time.


Let's begin with the friend formerly known as Kara Lee White, who has now become Mrs. Joel Young, and the proud mama of the adorable Jonah Julius, pictured in my previous posts.We have both been feeling a little sentimental lately about our friendship as we grow older and realize what a huge role it has played in our life. Friendships that last forever are rare, and ours is one of those treasures. We started out playing together when we little, off and on when I would come back from Kenya. We really became close in high school when we clung to each other for companionship and made ourselves laugh so that we could get through it.


Since high school graduation in 2002 (gulp)...


Our friendship has more than stood the test of time,


Spanning all the phases of our lives.


I don't have any recent pictures of the two of us together, so that will have to change soon.

Here we are about 3 years ago